take eight.

How do I relate to faith? How did Don Richardson relate to faith? How do the Sawi relate to faith?

"What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger." Frederich Nietzesche, a nihilist philosopher, quoted these words in his book, Twilight of the Idols, and it still rings in our ears today. Kanye West, one of the world's most famous black rappers, even made a song, "Stronger", following after this quote. I absolutely love this quote. It helps me to get through the rough times in life and more importantly, I think it can be related to faith because faith is what drives people to persevere.

Don Richardson had no clue what was awaiting him and his family in the unknown jungle forests of Papa New Guinea. It was all-in thing. He was taking on a new journey and leaving all he had known until now, behind. And it was worth sacrificing all for because God had planned everything out. Don Richardson didn't know how the Sawi were going to accept his message to them, but God did, and he trusted that.

In the Peace Child, the Sawi are the ones who are radically changed through faith. They learn to cling to a new kind of hope-an everlasting faith in God. All along, they would have to sacrifice children in order to make peace between their tribe and the other. Really, this is something that's easier said than done. How could a mother wipe away the existence of her own child, whom she carried in her womb and nurtured all along? But, instead of being ignorant to this custom, Don Richardson took this tradition into consideration. He used this concept to teach the Sawi about Jesus Christ. Jesus was the ultimate peace child that paid the price for all our sins. All Don Richardson had to hold on to was faith, and in the end, faith prevailed against all the stumbling blocks along the way. The Sawi realized how wretched their lives were before they met God, and they then had a new, profound faith to cling to. Faith is the basis of everything. Everything else stems from that.

During the process of these blog postings, I feel that I have tackled alot of questions related to faith. I didn't know why at first, but now, I clearly see the reason why. Faith is the ultimate factor that drives me to keep pressing on. Like everyone, sometimes, I get lost. I fail. I stumble. But still, I get back up. God always gives me a second chance. And it is through the hardships that my character grows because I know that after the toiling process is over, I will look back through those times of tears and sweat I poured out, thinking to myself, 'I made it.' Maybe this is why I love challenges so much. In the end, I have something good to feel about myself. Romans 5:3-4 always encourages me when I feel drained.

"Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

All my life, I've been surrounded by a Christian environment. Christian family. Christian friends. Christian education. Church every Sunday. Spiritual retreats. When I was young, I took comfort in this because it was like my personal shield from any "bad stuff" of the world. I felt secure in such an environment. However, as I am growing older, I sometimes want to escape from such "Christian" things and people. I feel like it's asphyxiating me at times. Instead of regarding Christianity as a blessing, I feel like it's a burden weighing me down from doing anything in this world, because whatever I want to do will be considered a "sin."

Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." This statement totally shifted my perspective. All my life, I had taken comfort in the Christian environment surrounding me, relying upon that and nothing else. I had no personal faith in or knowledge about God, except of the weekly Sunday preachings. I had built a faith not on God, but a faith built upon other Christians. However, that type of faith will fall apart, like it is now, because man is imperfect. Maybe that's the reason why I feel so lost right now. Maybe that's the reason why I see my religion as a burden to me, rather than a blessing. All along, it hasn't been a 'personal' faith, but a faith shaped by influences of others. In other words, a faith that I have yet not experienced. I know it's there somewhere. I know it's real too. I just have to find out what it is for myself. So that's why maybe it's time for me start my own journey of faith.

I still feel like I'm swimming through a vast ocean of 'nothingness'. It's an ocean filled with emptiness. But I know I'll find my own path sometime, sooner or later. So, in the meantime...